Al Salamu 'Alaykum.
An interview with an enemy of Islam and the Muslims, Asra Nomani (no relation of `Allama Shibli Nomani).
Honest interviews : Asra Nomani
Imagine if Nomani got some sodium pentothal in her martini and gave an honest interview....
DrM : So whats the “Muslim womans freedom tour” about ?
AN. : Well I couldn’t come up with anything catchy so I decided to steal some terms from the civil rights movement. I haven’t had much luck getting attention with the shake down I’ve tried to pull at the Morgantown masjid, so I had to do something.
DrM : What’s going on there ?
AN : Actually I didnt have a chance to win a seat on the masjid advisory panel, so I bailed the day the election. Then I started claiming that the ladies section was insufficient for us even though there was plenty of room.
DrM : Why did you do that ?
AN : It got the media’s interest, and I was on CNN…they just love me on FOX too might I add. Plus, I got a chance to plug my book, nothing like a little free PR.
DrM : You mean “Standing alone in Mecca” ?
AN : Yes, order your copy today !
DrM : This was about your Hajj experience correct ?
AN : Yep.
DrM : There were over 2 million pilgrims at last year’s Hajj, so what do you mean by the “stand alone” part ?
AN : Well..uh…it sounded tight. There’s only one Asra Nomani ya know !
DrM : You’re a bit of a whack job aren’t you ?
AN : Hey now ! Well, maybe just a bit…I can assure I’m just your typical single Muslim mom raising a kid.
DrM : Why single ? Wheres hubby ?
AN : Lets not get into that…..
DrM : I’ll let you plug your book if you do….
AN : In that case…..I was on assignment in Pakistan, where I met this one dude…and things kinda happened.
DrM : Hold up…that would be adultery then..
AN : Look man, I was trying the latest tantrika mumbo jumbo…you can read all about it in my other book on tantrika sex…on sale for only $17.95.
DrM : So did you get married ?
AN : Nope, he ran off, the bastid.
DrM : Well that’s too bad….but don’t you think Muslims would have a problem with someone with your past telling them how to practice Islam ?
AN : Look I screwed up, cut me some slack here ! All you gotta do is perform Hajj and all is forgiven.
DrM : Well it doesn’t quite work like that…you have to be sincere in your desire for forgiveness…
AN : I am sincere, dawg !
DrM : But you do oppose punishing the crime of adultery…
AN : Well, just punishing the female part, they could stone the men with a boulder for all I care. Besides everybody does it these days, you cant go around slamming people for getting busy….you know what I’m saying ?
DrM : Actually no, I myself have never committed adultery, nor do any of Muslim friends engage in it.
AN : You’re a wahabi aren’t you ?!
DrM : …no, not really.
AN : You believe in Quran and Hadeeth ?
DrM : …Yeah
AN : WAHABI ! Neo-Salafi ! Muslim Pat Robertson !
DrM : Hey everybody, buy Asra’s book….
AN : Ok, I’ll let you off the hook this time….
DrM : So tell me what you mean by Muslim woman “reclaiming their rights.”
AN : Actually that’s just some bullcrap we cooked up to get the media’s attention. I would like to see more woman ditch the hijab.
DrM : Why is that ?
AN : Well to be honest with you, I’m a bit jealous of those hijabis. They get respect and they don’t have to put out to get it.
DrM : Why are you proggies so obsessed with hijab when Muslim woman face so many other challenges ?
AN : Well….we don’t want to them to wear it….and that’s all I have to say about that.
DrM : They make you look bad don’t they ?
AN : Yeah they do, kinda makes it hard to pull a fast one on ignorant non-Muslims with them around.
DrM : But you did wear a hijab on the cover of your book…
AN : Available at bookstores near you for only…
DrM : We got that already. But why the hijab on the cover ?
AN : It grabs the viewers attention, but its cool, I don’t wear it inside the book.
DrM : About your local masjid….when did that controversy start ?
AN : Actually I rarely go to the masjid, and I never went before…but it was a good place to start my campaign.
DrM : But why do you want a larger prayer hall if you sneak into the men’s section ?
AN : To be honest, its more fun…there’s a couple of guys with really tig…
DrM : Time out
AN : Dang ! I was just getting to the good part.
DrM : This aint “sex and the ummah.”
AN : Which I also co-write with that other lady holed up in Arkansas.
DrM : So why the need to publish porn ?
AN : Well that Nassef character, you know the one with the big boot print on his face thought it would get us some page hits, as well as offer a release for the readers, most of whom aren’t old enough to drink. We think its better than them surfing smut sites.
DrM : But its still porn, and rather vulgar at that….
AN : Don’t be such a prude, Muslims should enjoy the sexual impulse..nothing to be afraid of…
DrM : Uh I don’t think that’s a problem given that Muslims have the highest birthrate on the planet. Only difference I see is they do it behind closed doors and after marriage.
AN : You better cut it out with that wahabi crap, man
DrM : Yawn, so what do you do these days ?
AN : Well since I dont have a job, I enjoy harassing the people at the masjid, and trying to make non-Muslims like me as a "good muslim." Otherwise I'm just a bitter middle aged woman eating bonbons and watching Oprah. Hopefully, some clueless liberals and ill-meaning conservatives will pick up my books, every single penny counts.
DrM : I think I've had enough. Off you go granny.
AN : Wha ?!
DrM : Theres a MSNBC camera crew outside waiting to hear your deep Islamic thoughts.
DrM : So whats the “Muslim womans freedom tour” about ?
AN. : Well I couldn’t come up with anything catchy so I decided to steal some terms from the civil rights movement. I haven’t had much luck getting attention with the shake down I’ve tried to pull at the Morgantown masjid, so I had to do something.
DrM : What’s going on there ?
AN : Actually I didnt have a chance to win a seat on the masjid advisory panel, so I bailed the day the election. Then I started claiming that the ladies section was insufficient for us even though there was plenty of room.
DrM : Why did you do that ?
AN : It got the media’s interest, and I was on CNN…they just love me on FOX too might I add. Plus, I got a chance to plug my book, nothing like a little free PR.
DrM : You mean “Standing alone in Mecca” ?
AN : Yes, order your copy today !
DrM : This was about your Hajj experience correct ?
AN : Yep.
DrM : There were over 2 million pilgrims at last year’s Hajj, so what do you mean by the “stand alone” part ?
AN : Well..uh…it sounded tight. There’s only one Asra Nomani ya know !
DrM : You’re a bit of a whack job aren’t you ?
AN : Hey now ! Well, maybe just a bit…I can assure I’m just your typical single Muslim mom raising a kid.
DrM : Why single ? Wheres hubby ?
AN : Lets not get into that…..
DrM : I’ll let you plug your book if you do….
AN : In that case…..I was on assignment in Pakistan, where I met this one dude…and things kinda happened.
DrM : Hold up…that would be adultery then..
AN : Look man, I was trying the latest tantrika mumbo jumbo…you can read all about it in my other book on tantrika sex…on sale for only $17.95.
DrM : So did you get married ?
AN : Nope, he ran off, the bastid.
DrM : Well that’s too bad….but don’t you think Muslims would have a problem with someone with your past telling them how to practice Islam ?
AN : Look I screwed up, cut me some slack here ! All you gotta do is perform Hajj and all is forgiven.
DrM : Well it doesn’t quite work like that…you have to be sincere in your desire for forgiveness…
AN : I am sincere, dawg !
DrM : But you do oppose punishing the crime of adultery…
AN : Well, just punishing the female part, they could stone the men with a boulder for all I care. Besides everybody does it these days, you cant go around slamming people for getting busy….you know what I’m saying ?
DrM : Actually no, I myself have never committed adultery, nor do any of Muslim friends engage in it.
AN : You’re a wahabi aren’t you ?!
DrM : …no, not really.
AN : You believe in Quran and Hadeeth ?
DrM : …Yeah
AN : WAHABI ! Neo-Salafi ! Muslim Pat Robertson !
DrM : Hey everybody, buy Asra’s book….
AN : Ok, I’ll let you off the hook this time….
DrM : So tell me what you mean by Muslim woman “reclaiming their rights.”
AN : Actually that’s just some bullcrap we cooked up to get the media’s attention. I would like to see more woman ditch the hijab.
DrM : Why is that ?
AN : Well to be honest with you, I’m a bit jealous of those hijabis. They get respect and they don’t have to put out to get it.
DrM : Why are you proggies so obsessed with hijab when Muslim woman face so many other challenges ?
AN : Well….we don’t want to them to wear it….and that’s all I have to say about that.
DrM : They make you look bad don’t they ?
AN : Yeah they do, kinda makes it hard to pull a fast one on ignorant non-Muslims with them around.
DrM : But you did wear a hijab on the cover of your book…
AN : Available at bookstores near you for only…
DrM : We got that already. But why the hijab on the cover ?
AN : It grabs the viewers attention, but its cool, I don’t wear it inside the book.
DrM : About your local masjid….when did that controversy start ?
AN : Actually I rarely go to the masjid, and I never went before…but it was a good place to start my campaign.
DrM : But why do you want a larger prayer hall if you sneak into the men’s section ?
AN : To be honest, its more fun…there’s a couple of guys with really tig…
DrM : Time out
AN : Dang ! I was just getting to the good part.
DrM : This aint “sex and the ummah.”
AN : Which I also co-write with that other lady holed up in Arkansas.
DrM : So why the need to publish porn ?
AN : Well that Nassef character, you know the one with the big boot print on his face thought it would get us some page hits, as well as offer a release for the readers, most of whom aren’t old enough to drink. We think its better than them surfing smut sites.
DrM : But its still porn, and rather vulgar at that….
AN : Don’t be such a prude, Muslims should enjoy the sexual impulse..nothing to be afraid of…
DrM : Uh I don’t think that’s a problem given that Muslims have the highest birthrate on the planet. Only difference I see is they do it behind closed doors and after marriage.
AN : You better cut it out with that wahabi crap, man
DrM : Yawn, so what do you do these days ?
AN : Well since I dont have a job, I enjoy harassing the people at the masjid, and trying to make non-Muslims like me as a "good muslim." Otherwise I'm just a bitter middle aged woman eating bonbons and watching Oprah. Hopefully, some clueless liberals and ill-meaning conservatives will pick up my books, every single penny counts.
DrM : I think I've had enough. Off you go granny.
AN : Wha ?!
DrM : Theres a MSNBC camera crew outside waiting to hear your deep Islamic thoughts.
Wa salamu 'alaykum.
eXPLAIN ME THIS SHER PLEASE
ReplyDeleteMujhse bekas ki dawlat pe laakhon durood, Mujhse bebas ki quwwat pe laakhon salaam,
Hum ghareebon ke aaqa pe behad durood, Hum faqeeron ki sarwat pe laakhon salaam.